Bible Belt Balabusta

Honest Bat Mitzvah Mom: leftover presents

Posted on 05/14/2009 | Comments Off

groovy silverplate menorah. A keeper.

The pitch: a zippy, secure website for re-gifting or selling all those presents your kid got for a bar or bat mitzvah. Profits can go directly to the charity of choice, or to the seller’s own account. Call it, say, e-Bar, or e-Bat. Detailed item description—of paramount importance—is made easy with pull-down categories and excruciatingly precise description templates. Just fill out the form, attach the pics, and go.

Will someone please invent this so I can go? Now? In our attic are boxes of perfectly good gifts my daughter has absolutely no interest in: jewelry, ritual objects, tchotckes, accessories. The volume is astonishing, even though half her family isn’t Jewish (which, in our case, means a total of 2 gifts from my branch of the tree), and even though the whole event wasn’t really huge at all. It was quite restrained, given all I’ve heard through the Manischewitz grapevine.

Some gifts are lovely, some are hideous, but even the hideous ones will be thought lovely by someone. Else. I feel a bit snarky even mentioning the fact that so many gifts suck, but I am working from the assumption that they were all heart-felt, sincere, loving gestures from good, thoughtful people. People who took the time, trouble and money to actually select something and to actually get it to the giftee in a timely fashion. (Unlike me, who has a small pile of wrapped gifts waiting to be delivered to children made adults over a year ago.)

Perhaps I do deserve the adjective snarky, but I mean well. I want these things to get good homes. I tried selling a few on eBay, super-cheap and right before Hanukkah, but except for one glittery hamsa necklace, they got not one single bid. I suppose I could take them to Goodwill or Salvation Army, but this is Nashville: what at the odds a Goodwill customer will do a happy dance when she sees a pewter menorah or a set of glass candle holders? Nashville’s 0.2 percent Jewish population does not make this a likely scene. More likely is for the Goodwill shopper to not guess my goodies are Jewish.

No, this stuff needs to go where supply and demand can co-mingle in a win/win web transaction. But someone has to invent the platform, first. Until that lovely day dawns, see below for some swap options should anyone have similar needs.

By the way, during my googling frenzy I couldn’t help but notice the domain YidBid.com is up for grabs.There you go.I gave you the idea and a name. Let me know when I can sign up.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

To sell:
eBay
Craigslist

To swap or barter:
Freecycle
Swap Thing
Craigslist (sell, giveaway, or barter)
BarterPlace
SwopLot
SwapTree (books, videos, CDs, DVDs)

Gift Card exchanges:
CardAvenue
Plastic Jungle
SwapaGift

Jewish Charity:
Hadassah thrift shop
Jewish Foundation/Federation (for refugees)

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Posted in Activity, Jewish parenting

Tagged bar mitzvah, bat mitzvah, gifts

After Passover: Balabusta busted

Posted on 05/12/2009 | Comments Off

Plague. How many frogs does one girl need?

I never actually claimed to be a balabusta. I said it was a title to which I aspired. So I can admit the following:
Until yesterday, all the Passover stuff was STILL OUT. We’ve been stepping over frogs and matzah trays and Miriam cups and place cards every day for weeks. I did put the Passover dishes away on time, but the decorations Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish Toys, Passover

Tagged housekeeping, Passover, plagues, toys

Kindness to animals, unless they’re on the sugar bowl

Posted on 05/06/2009 | Comments Off

Sweet. Sugar bowl and tongs all-in-one.

They’re back. I had forgotten about the yearly ant invasion of my kitchen pantry until this morning, when I saw the familiar black parade streaming under the door, up the wall, and onto the shelves. In my panic, I could not remember what I had done last year to stop the flow. I remember trying internet advice which, in my desperation, seemed plausible. (My favorite was “ants won’t cross a line of chalk.” Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish Identity

Tagged ants, chiggers, Tza'ar Ba'aley Hayim

Jewish bath toys, part 1

Posted on 05/01/2009 | Comments Off

Dreaded foam yes, but I own three sets.

Toddler broke out the foam Hebrew puzzles this morning. Actually, I broke out the foam Hebrew puzzles because the wooden ones were too noisy. I woke with a migraine, which makes me super-sensitive to just about everything except staying in bed (not an option), and which makes the sound of a wooden puzzle turned upside down and emptied onto an oak floor unbearable.

I love Hebrew puzzles. I hate foam. But I love foam Hebrew puzzles. I know the manufacture of foam is bad for the environment, bad for the poor workers who mold it, and bad for the environment Continue reading →

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Posted in Activity, Jewish kids in nonJewish school, Jewish parenting, Jewish Toys

Tagged Hebrew, puzzle

Witnessing with Wildflowers: an Essay

Posted on 05/01/2009 | Comments Off

Sometimes a dogwood is just a dogwood*

At yesterday’s wildflower hike, none of the other registered participants showed up, so the leader was all mine. The walk is up, over and down a steep ridge, quilted in overlapping habitats. It begins with the nature sanctuary’s meadow and pond, stumbles along a creekbed and drystone slave wall, doglegs through a cedar barren, and then climbs from beech-maple to oak-hickory along a burped-up bit of the Highland Rim before it drains into the old orchard. Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish Identity, Nature

Tagged Christian, church, nature, trees, wildflowers, witnessing

Jewish star pasta

Posted on 04/24/2009 | Comments Off

Toddler’s toy of choice today

Jewish Star of David pasta. We’ve used these as bingo markers, “money” for dreidel games, decorations for art projects, “rubber” stamps and stamps for clay. We’ve dyed them (shaken in a ziploc bag with a drop of food coloring and alcohol, dried whilst spread over a surprisingly vast expanse of wax paper.). We’ve used them as sorting objects, Montessori-style. We’ve used them as noise-makers inside of, well, noise-makers. We’ve done everything with these except cook and eat them. Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish kids in nonJewish school

Tagged kosher, mogen david, pasta, star of david, toys

Seder by skype

Posted on 04/15/2009 | Comments Off

Bubbe in action. So much so, even the camera shook. A blurry shot of Bubbe singing Chad Gadya.

We live in Nashville. Our families do not. At Passover, we vie with all sorts of other events and obligations and complications to get family here for seder. Usually, we must place our order for Bubbe at least a year in advance. Bubbe, now a widow and free agent, triangulates amongst Nashville, Philly, and New York for her seders. Although we placed our order for Pesach 2009 early enough, health issues cropped up that made this much-anticipated visit impractical. So, we had to go another year without Bubbe’s famous Yemenite rendition of the Hallel, and without Bubbe’s table-slapping, wine-glass-spilling gusto throughout the whole, never-long-enough-for-Bubbe evening.

She spent seder #1 with the Philly mishpacha, just a short drive away from her Center City high-rise. For seder #2, we figured she would settle Continue reading →

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Posted in Passover

Tagged Bubbe, Passover, seder

Afikomen Treasure Hunt

Posted on 04/08/2009 | 4 comments

Moses and the Pyramids

The last time I won a contest was when I was six. I colored something, Mom sent it in, and months later, long after I’d forgotten about any contest, I got a box of 64 crayons in the mail; the kind of box with the built-in sharpener and the staggered stadium-seating for all 64 crisp, fragrant, pointy, Continue reading →

4 Comments

Posted in Activity, Passover

Tagged afikomen, kosher, Passover, seder, treasure hunt

Baking with Dead Nana

Posted on 04/07/2009 | Comments Off

from generation to generation: Passover bagels

Passover bagels? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Nope. And believe me, they are so unlike real bagels, they will not induce any guilt or doubt about the Spirit of the Law in those who may be prone to such feelings about fluffy kosher for Passover baked goods. These bagels are heavy, sweet lumps devoid of all fluffiness, and are in every respect, kosher.

When Dead Nana was very much alive, she contributed Pesach bagels to every seder. They take the place of yeast rolls on the table, and are lovely at soaking up the juice from Aunt Bobbie’s brisket. At dairy breakfasts, straight from the oven, Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish Identity, Passover

Tagged bagels, baking, Jewish Identity, Passover

Big Decision for a Small Seder

Posted on 03/31/2009 | 1 comment

darkness and boils

Passover is a huge deal at our house. Part of the hugeness comes from years of seder memories… family and friends squeezed into our tiny dining room, knocking our knees against the fold-up table legs, spilling wine on the once-a-year starched linen tablecloths, throwing fake plagues at each other, eating till we nearly spew. Ah, memories.

Actually, ALL of the hugeness comes from the seders. Our seders. When we have elected, for one reason or another, to go to someone else’s house for seder, we always regret it later. It just isn’t the same. We love the freedom Continue reading →

1 Comment

Posted in Passover

Tagged Passover, seder

We Have Tam Tams

Posted on 03/31/2009 | Comments Off

Here in the Buckle, I expect to have trouble getting all the Passover groceries I want. The grocery stores, bless their hearts, seem to forget Jewish holidays change dates every year, and sometimes wait too late to put stuff on display. They hardly ever order the same things year to year, and I might just have to do without Bazooka bubble gum and mini-marshmallows. And the matzah: they don’t know from Passover vs. regular, so I always doublecheck the hecksher on the box.

Last year we had one box of matzah to last the whole week. I was calling friends to borrow a sheet of matzah just to eke out a second seder. But it wasn’t just me: Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish Identity, Passover

Tagged Jewish Identity, kosher, matzah, Passover, seder, tam-tams

The Jewish Holidays Cheat Sheet, at last

Posted on 03/13/2009 | Comments Off

As a former newbie, a parent, a token Jew adrift in a Protestant sea, and an educator, I am always on the lookout for concise, informative, even-handed info about Jewish life suitable for wide distribution.
Found it.
Ruth Abrams, managing editor of InterfaithFamily.com has put together “The Jewish Holiday Cheat Sheet.”

Not only is there a handy interactive chart so you can tell at a click the dates for Yom Kippur or the first day of Passover (to check against the school calendar that has already scheduled a field trip to a local bakery. on one or both of those days),
you also get a no frills, slightly breezy rundown on each holiday:

• Hebrew name means…
• What’s it about.
• Pronounce it.
• Time of year.
• Foods.
• Activities.
• Symbols of Holiday.
• Greeting?
• Read More…

Like Abram’s site in general, the list is welcoming and chummy and full of helpful info.
I don’t know the Yiddish opposite of “shanda to the goyim,” but if there is one, this effort is a great example of the sentiment.

Not that this list is just for nonJews or interfaith families. A hearty no. Being born Jewish is no guarantee of any level of knowledge. And we all forget things, all the time. This would be a great list attached to websites of synagogues, JCCs, Federations, and Jewish learning sites in general.

Pass it on, y’all.

And if you can kvell about any other marvel of dissemination, list it here in a comment.

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Tagged interfaith, jewish holidays

Jewish Parenting Blogosphere

Posted on 03/12/2009 | Comments Off

: Purim program at our shul last Sunday. The puppet show was gruesome. They loved it.

I want to mention some blogs I fancy. A new one is by the author of PJ LIbrary title “A Mezuzah On the Door,” and it’s called “Home-shuling.” Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish parenting

Tagged blogs, Jewish parenting

Purim shortcuts

Posted on 03/09/2009 | 1 comment

tot-made. I love the blob in the foreground.

Happy Purim, everyone. If you’ve waited until the last minute to think about costumes, see my emergency kid costume ideas at JewishEveryday com. White paper plates and even a lunch sack can become a crown in seconds, and a bathrobe or towel can be royal garb and cape. If your kid is young enough, this is good enough. If your kid is old enough to use the word “lame,” this is not good enough. Continue reading →

1 Comment

Posted in Purim

Tagged baking, hamantaschen

Let the Hamantaschen Begin

Posted on 03/09/2009 | 4 comments

Hamantaschen happen. And they start right about now.
If you are not a huge fan, you have not tried enough recipes. They vary.
I am extremely picky about hamantaschen, and have long championed a single type.
This has not lessened my curiosity and appreciation of the hamantasch as an art form, however. Below, I outline the major categories responsible for the infinite variety:

• Texture: soft vs. crunchy (or as I see it, cake-y vs. cookie-y).
• Fat: solid vs. liquid (butter, margarine, and the dreaded Crisco vs. oil, oil, oil).
• Leavening: yes or no (baking powder, soda or yeast vs. zero).
• Filling: traditional vs. whimsical
(the kind I like vs. the kind I put up with for the sake of wider participation).
• Taste: my mother-in-law’s vs. everyone else’s (icky vs. divine). Continue reading →

4 Comments

Posted in Purim

Tagged baking, hamantaschen

The Best Bedtime Sh’ma Book

Posted on 03/02/2009 | 1 comment

best bedtime Shema book, even though it isn't a Shema book...

best bedtime Shema book, even though it isn’t about the Shema at all…

Traditional Jews recite the Sh’ma three times in a regular day, including at bedtime. Lately, Jewish parents of all flavors have begun adding a bedtime Sh’ma to their routine. Reciting the Sh’ma right before bed is a sweet way to inject Jewishness into a kid’s life. It may seem a small step, but the timing makes it a big one. Bedtime is the vulnerable transition when kids are tired but receptive. They move from from waking to sleep, from together to alone, from light to Continue reading →

1 Comment

Posted in Jewish Bedtime for kids, Jewish Identity, Nature

Tagged jewish bedtime, sh'ma, shema

Happy Birthday to the Trees, Goodbye to the Naps

Posted on 02/08/2009 | Comments Off

Photo: 322 acres of old-growth forest in Nashville. Friends of Warner Parks are trying to raise money to buy it, and are about 1.6 million short.

Tu B’Shevat is tomorrow: the Fifteenth of the month of Shevat.1 It is one of the harder Jewish holidays to pronounce, even for grown-ups. The Toddler blurbles something like “Shot.” Thanks to the PJ Library —long may it prosper— he’s been reading a board book about Tu B’Shevat, so he already knows it is a day to plant trees. He’s got a small acorn and a big acorn ready to go. Continue reading →

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Posted in Nature, Tu B'Shevat

Tagged Bal Tashchit, naptime, Shehechianyu, Tikkun Olam, Tu B'Shevat

Scholastic Achievements: age appropriate

Posted on 02/01/2009 | Comments Off

Having two kids 12 years apart (with nobody in between) means I get the best and worst of both age groups at the same time. Today’s photo shows one of the best of the best: paper records of high achievement for each kid. Last week, the Teenager won a Gold Key award from the regional Scholastic Art & Writing competition and Nashville’s Cheekwood Art Museum. I went to the awards ceremony and discovered the whole thing to be a bigger deal than I’d realized. Thankfully, I had bothered to shower that morning. The Toddler accompanied us, and though he was kept fairly quiet with a steady flow of reception cookies, he did sneeze on the mayor. His first political protest.

The Teenager’s winning photograph was taken inside what had, until recently, been the only grocery store within walking distance of a neighborhood of government housing projects and an inner-city school. (When the store shut down, a small stink was raised in the newspaper, where I learned the term “food desert.”) The photography teacher had arranged for the entire class to roam the site as a change of scenery, as an experiment in contrasts.

The Teenager’s selected photo is called Cleaning Lady. It aims down a dark hall of rippling vinyl sheeting toward a woman in a halo of daylight, head lowered, sweeping a floor that no one needs swept.

Change of scenery? Contrast? To privileged eighth-graders bussed to this wreck of a building from a private school a few blocks and a universe away? Yes. Part of me feels guilty that the subject of this photo is providing a convenient addition to my daughter’s college resume. But then again, I know my daughter, and I know she is alive to the shadows and lights of equality and fairness and justice. She took this picture to capture the contrast as a way to advertise, not capitalize.

And now for the Toddler’s contribution. His paper record of high achievement is a daily log from Day Care, upon which is highlighted in yellow marker: “PP in Potty!”
A first.

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Posted in Jewish kids in nonJewish school

Tagged Jewish Identity

His First Challah

Posted on 01/26/2009 | Comments Off

My Shabbes dinner may have failed, but one of its many mishaps led to an unexpected success. Remember the challah dough that refused to rise? I couldn’t bear to throw it away, so I put it in the fridge, thinking it might rise slowly anyway. It did. On Sunday morning, when reaching in for the organic margarine, I noticed that the rubbery lump had puffed into a convincing mound. Continue reading →

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Posted in Jewish Identity

Tagged challah, Jewish Identity

Shabbes Dinner, plan B

Posted on 01/25/2009 | Comments Off

Shabbes dinner did not go as planned. And planned it certainly was: for two weeks I’ve known what I was to cook. Planning, however, should also include knowing what NOT to plan on a Friday. Doctor’s appointments, freelance assignments, and lunches or walks with friends really ought not to be planned for Fridays at all. Unfortunately, I did all three last week and threw my carefully orchestrated dinner completely out of tune. I felt rushed and crabby and so not in the mood.

Plus, the challah dough stayed a sullen lump in the bottom of its bowl (yes, I proofed the yeast), the grocery store was out of Empire chicken (the only locally-available brand I semi-trust), and the potato kugel I cleverly made hours in advance tasted like raw egg (possibly because it was actually still raw, despite the convincingly brown surface).

Suddenly, the kitchen walls started to pull inward. The stacks of mail, diaper coupons and dirty plates on the table seemed beyond hope. Usually, if I start early enough, I am at least able to sweep these constant companions into one random pile to be sorted later. But Friday, I could not bear to even scrape clear a usable section of the table. The clean laundry dumped on the sofa leered at me with a depressing permanency. The sink was full of dirties and the dishwasher was full of cleans. Black drifts of dog hair eddied around my ankles. The dog hair may have been the last straw. Well, either that or the kugel the Teenager said tasted like latke batter.
I started to whine. My husband immediately cut me off with a reasonable “okay, let’s get take out.” So we did. We had Mexican on paper plates. I do not know the halachic credibility of saying Motzi over a tortilla, but it was good enough that night. The Toddler scarfed down green salad with mangoes and avocado. The Teenager had all the chips and salsa she could manage, and we finished off with leftover Obama cake from my neighbor’s inauguration party. Shabbes dinner, plan B.

Hardly balabusta-level domestic engineering, but it worked.